We’ll Probably Fail, But That’s Okay

“When I started SpaceX I thought the odds of success were less than 10% and I just accepted that I would probably lose everything but that maybe we’d make some progress if we could just move the ball forward. Even if we died, maybe some other company could pick up the baton and keep moving it forward. Same with Tesla” - Elon Musk

4:00 AM. The alarm rings out in my college dorm room, cutting through the darkness. A room I share with a couple of other guys. Somebody turn that accursed thing off I groan thinking to myself. I turn over and try to wrap the pillows around my head but the sound only seems to get louder. Just the way I'd set it up. I grope out with one hand trying to find the phone which lies on the bed somewhere.

It's a lot harder to find something when you really want it to be found. It's even harder with closed eyes and a messy bed scattered with a laptop, books and something that feels like my glasses.

I finally get up and put my Nike running shoes on and stumble out. My eyes burn, I feel a little lightheaded but I tighten my shoelaces and plug in my ears with a J.Cole song. I throw on my hoodie and bolt into the darkness. I usually like to move with the rhythm of the song I’m listening to. And I like how it's so dark and everyone is asleep around this time, except for a couple of other students jogging. At least no one can see my face in the darkness. I feel a lot more comfortable that way.

In a few weeks, I'll be graduating. The thrill of getting a degree has somehow been lost. I don't really feel any sense of accomplishment anymore. To me, it just feels like another process in my life that was coming to end. I kicked a small rock on the side of the road and pushed on. The dimly lit street lights blinded me as the birds chirped through the dawn.

I reminisced all the years I had spent within these college walls. The good, the bad and even the ugly. For some reason they just whirred through my mind as though I was in a trance, completely tearing me away from my environment.

I remembered how in my first year Mum had driven me here and helped me settle in. I remembered my many failures and my many successes. The friends I had made. The friends I had lost. And most of all the startups and projects that I had started and failed.

Thinking about all of this brought a flood of emotions running through me. I was a bit unsure of what to feel. Happiness? Sadness? I don't know. I’ll probably never know. At this point, I was running. The sweat on my face had made it nearly impossible to see through my sweat-stained glasses. I wanted to win. I run a little faster. My whole life I had wanted to win. In Fact, I felt as though I had to win. I needed to win. I justified my pursuit of winning by telling myself that the path I was pursuing- Tech Entrepreneurship, was not just going to benefit me but also benefit the world. We were going to change the world. They’d told us it was possible. Kids no older than I were popping up on TechCrunch having raised millions of dollars from investors after building things as simple as apps. If they could make it, why couldn't I? The world was mine for the taking and oh I intended to take it. Everyone has a right to the throne if they can take it I believe.

I slowed to a stop and sat down under a tree, grateful for the cool wind hitting my sweaty face. It dawned on me that I had never entertained the thought of failure in my crazy pursuit.. Yes, I had failed in other ventures and startups but for some reason, I kept coming back to it. I didn't even have any Plan B in case I failed. My friends had already begun calling me Elon Musk or sometimes Steve Jobs. It was nice to know and to feel that I was headed for greatness. That someday I would be there. But the day you realize that the world owes you nothing is the day that you grow up. What if I did in fact fail? It's not as though I was intending to fail. No, that wasn't in the plan. But what if it did happen? What if in about 10 years I was some broke guy working a 9 to 5 job I didn't like. Not impacting the world as I intended. Millions of people out there are suffering. I felt as though I had to be a “Robin Hood”. Make as much money as I could from the rich and give it all away to the poor and for noble causes.

Then it dawned on me. I might never get to build that billion-dollar Tech company or be on the cover of Forbes, I may never finish writing that book, pass that exam or even make a million dollars in my lifetime. I’ll probably fail, but that’s okay.

Am I crazy?

Statistically speaking 95% of Entrepreneurs fail. Why on earth was I in pursuit of something that I was very much likely going to fail at? I was simply a college graduate with the entire world before me. Past companies I had worked with would welcome me with open arms ( at least I think) But more importantly, why did I feel so at peace on this crazy pursuit.

You must be crazy to give up the opportunity to work in prestigious companies with high paychecks all in pursuit of what? Something that had a 5% success rate? One where you’d have to work 10 times more every day with no assurance?

That is exactly why Steve Jobs called Entrepreneurs the crazy ones. It was and is a crazy gamble. You had to be crazy to go down this grueling path of likely doom.

In the world of Entrepreneurship, the odds are against you from the very first day you even think about changing the world. You're nothing but a dreamer.

It's Okay to Fail

Failure is unfortunately seen by society as a means to an end. It is detested and has no place in society. From childbirth, we are hardwired to avoid it no matter what the circumstances may be.

We fail to see how much the great people we are taught about in school had failed over and over again before succeeding. We lose sight of the fact that failure is simply an integral part of life that should be embraced or even celebrated. In Silicon Valley, the Tech Center of the world, failure is something that is celebrated. They see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. And that is exactly why they end up winning. In Fact, that process is in itself winning.

The Pursuit of Happiness

I set out to pursue happiness. That was the main goal after college. And I believed Entrepreneurship would lead me to that ultimate happiness if I could impact the lives of millions of people. For years the pursuit of happiness has been my mantra in life, I know I’d never get there but I pursue it anyway.

Why see the beauty in a meaningless struggle?

But maybe, even in a seemingly empty "chase after the wind", it is having the wind hit your face while you run that gives the thrill. And that thrill won't exist when you stop running. At least not in the same fierce manner.

No one can reach that point of happiness forever. My crazy pursuit.

I'm in pursuit of something that is impossible to achieve.

And that's what makes it fun.

Have you ever seen a kid working hard to build his Legos into a Spaceship? The determination. The passion. All in pursuit of what? Deep down every kid knows it's a long shot. But they still do it. Because the very journey of building something you believe so much in is what matters to them.

For me, the journey was all that mattered. The Highs and Lows. The Victories and Rejections. That constant feeling of doing something worthwhile with your life. No one can take that away from you.

A Sliver of Success

Remember that kid? What if he failed at building a SpaceShip Lego and went on to be Elon Musk and build SpaceX?

The point is, in all of this crazy pursuit there was a sliver of success. 5% wasn't much but it was something.
For now, I just have one goal. Which is to not fail. Oh, I very much intend to win. In Entrepreneurship, you only have to win once. It is a journey that improves you and changes your thinking in so many ways.

But then, even if I fail, that's okay. I’ll probably do it all over again.